Analyze the Situation

overthinkblog1

Websters definition for Analyze – is to make analysis of, examine of detail.

 The Thesaurus meaning –  is dissect, examine, investigate, breakdown take apart, resolve into elements.

 My favorite  OVER THINKING!

 We girls love to examine, take apart ,breakdown or dissect everything from the clothes in our closet of what we will wear that day, or  “over think” the clothes to pack for a vacation. It took me two days to pack for a 4 day trip and when I got there to where I was going I only wore half of what I brought.

I find myself analyzing everything! The last few weeks I have been examining every detail of what will happen prior to my surgery date of April 15th. I’m theoretically taking apart every detail of what might happen. Who will be there in the hospital room? How long will the 1st surgery take? How soon will I have a seizure so I can have my second surgery ? How long will my recovery be?  What will I look like afterwards? Will I slur my words? Will  I be able to have enough strength to attend Jillian’s graduation in May and be part of all the summer fun things.  Here I go. Over thinking. Trying to analyze everything and trying to come up with an answer. An answer I DO NOT HAVE!! I have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay.  I am trying to pack a huge suitcase full of what if’s in all different sizes for all kinds of weather and I not know the outcome.   If I really think about it all I really need is probably a carry on with  few comfy clothes ,some socks to keep my feet warm, my bible, my favorite coffee to go mug,  maybe a blanket and more importantly my make up bag full of love, grace, and faith.

overthinkblog2

Girlfriends, I know it’s hard. Even more so for us with our pilot’s gone all the time. We will create problems in our mind at 2am  in the morning or analyze a situation with one of our kids knowing that WE have to figure out the answer to the problem. It goes on and on and on.  We will end up creating a problem that wasn’t even there in there in the first place.

 Next time try not to over pack that bag and stuff it with things that you don’t need to worry about.  I know easier said then done. Trust me I know.  A little trick I do sometimes is I make a list of things that worry me or that I want to let my husband know about when he gets home and 9 times out of 10 by the time he gets home what is on that list doesn’t really matter anymore or the problems has solved all on its own.

Isn’t that  what God does with us? We will go to him with a list of our problems or a huge suitcase full of stuff and once we have done so He simply looks at it and just throws it away  or will show us what to pack for our upcoming trip.

Maintaining Temperature Control

pwcookbook

Maintaining Temperature Control. That is difficult to do at times. Right now parts of the northeast received their real taste of winter. Temperatures are dropping below freezing and which will affect major airports to cancel flights and schools to cancel classes. No one is going anywhere. However if your pilot was flying during this crazy blizzard it could have been a blizzard blessing for him with a little extra pay. It is all about maintaining the temperature control of how we adjust our setting to keep to it where we need to it to be.

I have this Southwest Airlines Cookbook at home that my husband received several years ago. It has many recipes from pilot’s and their families. On the front cover it says:

QUICK RECIPE HANDBOOK

IN ALL SITUATIONS: MAINTAIN TEMPERATURE CONTROL

Those words me think about that as a pilot wife that we “Maintain the Temperature Control” of our house when our pilot leaves and when he comes home.

I was reading a blog post http://www.becomingagodlywife.com and she said “How we come across to our husbands often depends  times on how it will affect how they react to us. If we react to them harshly than surprise they are going to approach us defensively. If we approach them lovingly they are more than likely going to come to us in the same manner.  Our men are called to lead our homes but they pick up a lot of cues from us. “

So repeat after me…….

 IN ALL SITUATIONS I MAINTAIN THE TEMPERATURE CONTROL HOT OR COLD

Here is something I have discovered in my 22 years of marriage. If I greet my husband good or bad he will respond in the same manner. If I send him off with a loving attitude  I will get those loving texts messages or phone calls while he is gone. If greet him with a long list of complaints the minute he walks in the door I have ruined the entire evening. ( heads up… make him his favorite drink , let him get out of his uniform or at least his tie then you can bring him a suitcase full of complaints but be brief and to the point) .

There have been several times in our house  where I was not very good at maintaining the temperature. In fact there have  been times where the Captain has come from a blustery cold trip only to find himself walking into another cold environment. It was not fun for either one of us. Much less our kids.  There was  no connection.

From personal experience a few days ago I had a not so fun day.  The weather was gloomy. All the plans that were planned for that day fell through the roof. It was my birthday weekend. I had made plans with a friend to go out that morning to do some shopping. (Mind you, I can’t drive due to medical reasons.) Anyway my friend did not feel way so she ended up canceling. I thought in my mind that my husband would be home, in the drive way, in the house at 1:30pm. So all would be well in MY WORLD and he could take me to the store to get what I needed. I could be in time to get dressed to go out for happy hour with my girlfriends to celebrate my 45th.So I did not “totally freak out” when my friend said she was sick. . However. Yes, however. The whole 1:30 was 1:30 at the AIRPORT!!. We live an hour and 20 minutes away. So now I my temperature setting was hot! I was crying! Then with the weather gloomy and two out 4 of us not feeling well for my 45th we ended up postponing the whole evening out. It was just not a good day all around. So my mood was shot. So when he walked in the door he knew the temperature was not a very comfortable setting.  He comes home, sees me  working on something, goes to our room and automatically falls on the bed to take a nap. Really? Seriously?   Here I am still trying to figure out what to do with my friends on the phone for Plan B all the while being mad at him cause he did not kiss me when he came in the house and went straight to bedroom to go lay down. Needless to say after a while he went to go get to the boys after school.   He is a smart man and did not ask much and stays quiet. Later on that evening I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down on the couch he eventually came and put his head on my lap and  he fell asleep and we connected in silence. The temperature eventually was maintained to where it needed to be.

What I have learned in all this maintaining temperature control is that maybe next time if we want our pilot to show us  a bit of attention and interest then we shouldn’t be afraid to carry ourselves the way we want to be treated when he comes home.  When he text us to say he is coming home let’s make it a point to go brush our hair or teeth, put on a dab of lip gloss. It will only take a minute. I guarantee that minute will help maintain that thermostat to a comfortable setting for both of you the remainder of the evening.

A little Quick Recipe for you to remember

IN ALL SITUATIONS: YOU MAINTAIN THE THERMOSTAT

When he takes off from the house.

When lands in the driveway.

Next weeks Recipe: How to Analyze the Problem

I Can’t Read The Map

where am I going

I have no idea where I’m suppose to go!

My last post I mentioned that I was in the hospital for brain mapping.  I was able to give my doctors what they were looking for. What they discovered was I have a small scar tissue on the left inferior temporal region.  With the damage being on the left side the right side of my brain is doing all the work. If I do not have this corrected it could get worse. What a great excuse for not remembering things, ” oh I’m sorry I’m only using half of my brain right now. Please forgive me.” With all that being said I will have to have surgery !

I’m under the best medical care in the nation. You should see the operating room it is like walking into a Star Wars movie.  What is  amazing is God has brought into my life a wonderful woman that has had this very same surgery with the same doctors. She has been seizure free for over a year now and is doing extremely  well.  She has encouraged me, listen to me vent, and has been there to answer any questions big or small.

When is the big day? It will be April 15th. Tax Day! Easy to remember. I will undergo two separate surgery’s the first one  they will perform an electrode surgery. This is where they will put wires IN my head, close me up and wait for me to have an actual seizure. They just need one.  I’m praying that I will have one quickly so I’m not laying there in the hospital bed for days, especially with wires coming out of my head. Oh, that sounds attractive.  Once I have provided a seizure they will have the exact location they need to perform the resection surgery. Doesn’t all this sound fun?  I will  be in the hospital for several weeks.

You might be asking are you scared, freaked out, anxious? Just a little. Yea, right. How about A LOT! This is a trip I am not looking forward to. However I am looking forward in landing this whole Brain trip I’m on and be seizure free!

What is keeping me from not crawling up in a little ball and hiding in a suitcase or my closet? It is my family and friends that are in my life that will be here for me in a heartbeat.  This past summer a couple of women have come into my life and we have built a wonderful friendship. I know God had something to do with it.  When you put all of  us together there is a bond as if we have been friends since childhood. I have one girlfriend that we are so much  alike it is scary that our dogs even have the same name.

What does all this have to do with being a pilot’s wife, your ask? For me a lot. I’m used to being the Captain. “Captain wife”. I’m the one that runs the errands, cooks the meals, takes the kids to school and picks them up.  I was holding the map that read Independence. Now I do not hold the map. At least for the time being. I’m not able to fly my own plane. I have to relay on my family to take me places or call friends to help in picking up my kids or take me to Target, or shopping…. which they have told me that  they totally do not mind doing.  But when you are used to flying your own plane it is hard to hand over the controls.  That is something God has been working with me on. Honestly, I do not like it one bit.  I have cried a lot…in my closet. Been on a few pity party trips. Thinking  this trip is taking way to long and we just need to land.

I heard a christian speaker say at a conference  that she was on a plane heading home to be with her family that she missed terribly. However there was a huge volcano that had erupted and unfortunately the captain had to change the flight pattern it was originally to fly.  The Captain soon came on the intercom and told the passengers  that they were  going to have to take the long way around, but that they were  going to get home it was just going to take longer then planned . After a few moments of getting upset and frustrated she felt God speak to her and say that going the long way was not about her. That possibly God was  working in other peoples lives while taking the long way, a different flight plan of some sort.

Listening to her made me realize that as I’m going on this trip that the map is not my map it’s Gods map and His route is going to  to take a little longer then mine. I had short cuts while He has the scenic routes and resting spots mapped out.   I just have to trust that maybe He is working on others through this whole trip as well and not just me .

Let me leave you with this if you are struggling with all the frustrations, stress, overwhelming responsibility that come with being a pilot’s wife that God has the map. He knows the way. He has mapped out the friendships and the support you need. He has provided you with the courage  and the strength to get through the daily turbulence that goes with your crazy lives. He may reroute your day or days. You may feel like you are about to crash, but remember your a pilot wife you can handle anything. Even brain surgery.

Being Thankful For The Socks & Shoes He Gives Me…

picstitch

Sometimes I feel God has me wear socks and other times boots.

Being in the hospital has its advantages. Not a lot but some. I got to watch a half a dozen of Christmas Hallmark movies in 3 days. If you ask me what they were about I could not tell you or if I did I would more than likely take bits and pieces of each of them and combine them into one movie. I vaguely remember them. I was on a Valium. I had meals delivered to me. I lost 5 pounds.

Hospital food is not all that wonderful. Thing is girlfriend ,I have a few favorites.

The depressing part of the 3 days I was there I felt like a ran 2 marathons in 24 hours. I had 5 seizures in 2 days. Reason for drugs. I had a sore left arm from an IV stuck in me. Wires glued to my head with a beautiful gauze wrapped around to support it. I was one Hot Mess!

If you were praying for me to have seizures. Well, I had them. I had one Thursday night before I went to the hospital and 4 the next day. I even provided my doctor’s with a seizure in one of the machines.  Friday I don’t remember much. I remember bits of it. The waiting room,being helped by my husband with putting on my pajamas and being told that I did a good job with providing them with what they were looking for. Monday is when I think I came around to actually feeling normal. Dizzy but normal. I did not like it. I felt fragile. I felt like my independence was taken away. Ultimately, I felt weak. I must confess I still do.

So what was determined? My seizures come from the left side of my brain.  The Temporal Lope. What does the Temporal Lobe function? Here is a list: Speech, Memory, Reading, Emotional responses, Auditory, Visual and Olfactory.

Did you know that the temporal lope epilepsy appear to be highly sensitive to extraordinary experiences and it can be stimulated during spiritual or religious experiences? Could that be why I’m so passionate in my research with bible studies and my thinking about all that God plays in our lives? I guess you could say God knows what he is doing and the gifts and passions he gives us.

What is the outcome with all this? With all the information that my doctors have gathered have concluded surgery will take place. Jeff and I will meet with the doctors December 16th to go over the next step. I’m both excited and scared of what will be determined.

I have a book in my Kindle that I must have bought many months ago. I can’t remember why I purchased it. See there goes my memory. Possibly to help me with a bible study I was teaching. It is titled “Being Okay Where You Are”, by Stacy Thacker

As I was rereading it she encouraged me to admit where I am. At a scary season, an emotional season where I’m constantly finding myself screaming out to God. Throwing shoes and hiding. I find myself worried that I will have a seizure today, tomorrow. Where will I be or when I have one? Will I remember what was going on around me? Will I have fallen and hurt myself? What will my friends think of me when I do have a seizure and if so will they want to hang out with me? She reminded me that it’s okay to admit all this and to God. Don’t worry, He can take care of it.

That my next step is to  admit that I’m not okay. That sometimes I need to put on my stomping books or slippers. Be okay with that. To remember the verse, “He will be lead you. He’ll be with you, and He’ll never fail you or abandon you. So don’t be afraid”. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

With Thanksgiving fast approaching I’m reminded of a verse in

1 Thessalonians 5:18″ Be thankful in all things”.

 I thought more about it and what if I choose to be thankful for all things.

Yeah, right. Are you serious FOR ALL THINGS? To be honest with you I don’t want to be thankful for all things. I deserve healing, a better situation in my life. I deserve an answer to my prayer. I get frustrated at ALL the little things. I get frustrated cause I can’t just get in the car. I need to be responsible and smart about how I’m doing. I can’t drive at night. I have to literally ask, speak my desires , my wants to go somewhere. From an independence that I love …cause I’m an independent girl ,now I don’t have it as much, frankly it sucks!

I feel that God has told me, “Tiffany your life is going to be interrupted. When this is all over you will have a new hope, a new faith and new independence that wasn’t there.”

I should remember to be continue to be thankful. Be thankful FOR all those little wires glued to my head and that He covered me in His Protection , His Love , His Grace and more importantly His Healing.

When I taught on the book of Ephesians I recall a verse

” Finally my sisters, be strong in the Lord. Be strong in him and the power of his might. ” ( Ephesians 6:10).

Instead running to my closet and saying,” I can’t do this, I can’t do it “, I need to tell myself that I can do anything with the right shoes. ( cowboy stomping boots) I am going to put on these boots with the power of God and I am going to stomp on this situation !

I have the best husband in the world and he has been there every step of the way. When I have had to go to the hospital he automatically puts on those yellow socks that they give you. He leaves them on until we leave to go home. But he is not the one with the wires glued to his head or the IV’s in his arms or every 3 hours having your blood pressure checked. It is me.  It doesn’t matter if he put on those hospital yellow socks for me. I have to. I had to put on my own socks. I will have to continue to do so.

There will be days when I’m off-balance or I had a seizure and fell and my body is sore.  In the mist of all that  I need to remember that even though this happened God is still there. He is right there in my closet picking out the shoes or even the socks that I need to wear .

More Testing……

This past Thursday I was back in the hospital.  Only for a day. When I arrived a  team of nurses and doctors were waiting for me, as well as the stylish hospital gown and those wonderful socks to keep your feet warm.

When you check  into the hospital you are  asked a routine of questions but this time I was asked  if I had been out of the country the last three weeks? Not that I’m aware of. Oh wait, I was in Paris just a few days ago. NOT!

The humorous question was do you think you’re pregnant? I said, “No”. They answered back , ” well how do you know?” Uh, well my husband took care of that. Because I was under the age of 55 they had to do the test. Just so you know, I’m not. All is good.

nurse holding hand

I’m finding this out more & more. The nurses that have been by my side do just that.

My neurological psychologist was there to conduct the test. I had a wonderful nurse call me “sunshine” and kept telling me that I was doing beautifully and just held my hand. She even wiped away a few tears. She knew I was scared and kept me calm through the whole process.

I would go into detail of the whole experience but that would probably be too much information. It would require a glass of wine with my closet friends to share with. Just know it was not fun and totally uncomfortable and weird. VERY WEIRD!

I will share this for a moment while my doctor and the nurse were holding my hands I felt my daddy’s hand on one side and Jeff’s on the other. I’m sure it was God’s way of telling me that all will be okay.

My neurological psychologist said I did very well and they were able to find exactly what they were expecting. Putting my each side of my brain to sleep was freaky.

After the testing was done I was in recovery for 4 hours. I had to lay still and not move. Jeff set me up with my Ipad while I listened to music . Once I was released I was given instructions as to continue my recovery.

Instructions were to be as followed: 

1. You have been given sedation for this procedure you will need to be on bed rest. Do not drink alcoholic beverages, make important decisions , sign legal or important papers,  no smoke while laying down

My interruption was:                                                                                  * Lay down on the couch and have everyone cater to me. That was fun.          Probably not in their eyes.

*I could not have glass of wine. Though I felt I had two of them already.

*I could not sign anything important. So as a mom that meant school             permission slips, report cards, reading logs- you name it.

*Darn , I could not take up smoking if I did I could not do it laying down.

*Driving? I was good with that one.

2. Stay off your feet preferably be in bed until next morning. You may get up to go to the bathroom.

*They are funny. They are talking to independent me. I was a good girl. (sort of)

3. Drink lots of fluids today and tonight.

*What? Wine is a drink and drinking a beer will make me go to the bathroom. But I was a good girl and followed number 1 rule . Only had water and coffee.

4. Shower in the morning. Do not get the Band-Aid wet .

*I felt yucky. I had glue in my hair and I smelt like a hospital.  So I just put my hair in a pony tail, washed my face and called it a day.

5. Do not play any sports, exercise or do any heavy lifting, bending, pulling or straining for two days after your angiogram.

Yea! Right.  I”m going to milk this one for as long as I can.

* So could not do any walking the bridges, running, yoga, cycling. Girlfriend, I got that one covered.

*Can not rearrange any furniture ( just look at Pinterest for ideas.)

*Do not climb attic to get down Fall or Christmas decorations. ( which is killing me)

*If kids ask you to do something just say sorry I’m unable to per doctors request.

To be honest those instructions are not my cup of tea. Though they were necessary cause if I did not rest I would feel it and could make matters worse.  On a occasion I have pushed myself and I felt it.

What’s next? I’m to go off my seizure medicine Tuesday (November 4th) then go back into the hospital Friday (November 7th) for the weekend. In hopes that my doctor will be able to capture a seizure. I will once again look like Cindy Lou Who from Dr. Seuss.

waiting hosptial

I CHOOSE TO TRUST THAT GOD IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME. TRUST THAT HE KNOWS BETTER THAN I DO!

I pray by Thanksgiving my doctor (s) will have everything that they need to determine what will be the next step and when the surgery will take place.

Hoping and praying that over the next few months I will be able to enjoy the up coming holidays with family and friends. Get all the decorating, party planning that I have planned to do. Heck, with my “right side” of the brain that seems to be the strong one, I’m sure all those creative ideas will be working their magic.

Questions For A Pilot’s Wife…..

chick with wings

Pilot wives our lives are not normal. Yet they are. If truth be told we are “The Captain” of our Plane  family.

I have 12 questions .  If you are willing to accept this task.  I would love to hear you thoughts, your experiences and how you fly your own family plane. Even if you just answer a few.

1 .How do you adapt to your pilot leaving? 3 day/ 4 day/ all of a sudden he is picking up another trip.

2. How do you adapt to him coming home? Do you freak out? Clean? Meet him with a smile?  Or ready to vent? Also does he have a little routine or way he makes himself feel he is at ” home”?

3.How do you deal with the playing the role of ” having to do it all” mom.

4. In what ways  do you to take advantage of him being home?  Do you do family stuff? Go on a date? Or say, “I’m out of here, you’re in charge?”

5. What do you do when he is all of sudden  he is called to work and you thought he was in the clear of being off? Or he picked up a trip without checking with you and you had something planned?

6.OH NO! Something broke. The Catastrophes that happen when he is gone.

7.How do you deal with Communication when he is gone?  Does he call every night he is gone? Do you text more than you talk?  We have to sometimes “bottom line it”.  We are in the middle of telling him something and he says, ” sorry honey I’m about to take off you can handle it.”

8.What do you say to a friend or someone ask do you worry about infidelity? How  do you keep that from happening?

Or aren’t you scared of him flying with all the stuff in the news?

9.How do you help your children adapt to dad leaving and coming home? Do the kids test you when dad is gone? Especially young ones.  What suggestions do you have or learned to help deal with those issues?

10. In what ways do you keep from going crazy? Do you have a group of friends . A support group that you can vent to. That understand you?

11. Do you have your own life? Or do you make an excuse that you don’t have time to have one because of all that you  have to do while he is away. Does your pilot support you in having this  sort of independence?

12. Holidays, birthdays, special events, anniversary, you name it. How do your celebrate them? What do you tell family and friends that it’s just not a good time for you to fly cause of various reasons. Or you can’t plan far in advance.

  • Bonus and this is always humorous, what silly questions – at least to us do you get asked cause your husband is a pilot?

  I would love to hear your thoughts, suggestions. Even if you just answer a few.  If you have a few more questions that you would like to add , please feel free.

Thanks girls.

You can leave a short comment below

or email me at    Tifflocke5@gmail.com

If you can I would love to have them by the end of October.

Thanks girls, You are the best.

If you are not a pilot wife that is okay, if you would like to answer some of these that would be awesome. 

Favorite day of the week?….. ( not Saturday)

What is your favorite day of the week?  Friday? The weekend?  Mine? I have 5. Monday thru Friday. Why? If the pilot is off flying I don’t get excited about the weekend. If I do it’s because I get to sleep in past 7am.

I’m certain the boys save their frustrations for when dad is gone. I’m sure of it.  I think they save the attitude for when dad is home than once he takes off they land it right on mom. Let’s not forget they will see what they can get away with.  You know cause, well it’s mom.

morning fish boys   This morning was so peaceful and tranquil. The boys were fishing off the dock. Instead of being submersed in technology. For two hours. Then Tobin fell in the water. The peaceful morning turned into chaos. I got a chuckle where I almost spit out my coffee.

BOYS!

tobin frustrated with lawn

mommmmm! Do I have to?

I asked Tobin to mow the grass this morning. All I got was stomping, complaining, and pouting. It was an Oscar performance. I almost wanted to hand him a trophy.

Then I had a revelation. A thought landed in my mind.  I hate when those happen.

How many times do we postpone things that we know we should get done? We sense God telling us what we should be doing instead of what we want to do. He has created  beautiful  surroundings, weather, and timing.

What are we waiting for?

Yet, we perform our own Oscar performance of throwing a spiritual fit.  Making every excuse we could possibly come up with. Knowing in our hearts He is the director, the producer, the writer.  We reluctantly get it done. All the while He just continues to love us and give us grace. Which I don’t have especially on Saturdays.

So on the weekends  I fight with myself. I yell. I get impatient with boys. I’m constantly telling them ” GO OUTSIDE”. “Don’t do that.” “Would you do that if Dad was here” talks.  Which by the way don’t work. I get that!

Then I feel guilty cause I’m not one of “those mom’s” that will take  them to the beach,  to the park, a movie.  Maybe I should learn to drive the boat. Then if they get wild I can throw them over board.  I wouldn’t do that. Yea right!

fish explode

Let’s take the fish apart.

Boys are different.  Boys are wild. Boys are weird.

You can’t take boys to Super Target, shoe shopping or B&N. Unless you are going for one specific item. You have to be in and out in 20 minutes or less.  Are you kidding? Me in and out in 20 minutes? That’s funny.

On the weekends I bring out reinforcements. Food, friends, and more food.  Then I’m nice and cool. They are happy for a few hours.

Today I ordered  pizza. Tobin has a friend over and their swim suits are on.  Making sure there are no broken bones, blood, or fighting taking place. It’s crazy. I know I will look back on this and laugh. HAHAHAHA!  Maybe I will. And my boys will hug me and tell me that they only drove me crazy cause they loved me.

It is happy hour yet?

 Right now I think God is saying for me  to go outside hide in a chair with a book and headphones. Which I will totally do without arguing.